October 11^th, 2013

Sleeping on it didn't help. But watching Juno did. "That little pink cross is so unholy."

I know them feels, Juno.

It's weird. I will think of something pregnancy or baby related and get a little wave of excitement followed by a massive gag reflex. I know they'll even out eventually, and one day the wave of excitement will far surpass the initial disgust and fear.

It's just... I don't think I've ever handled this much stress at once. And I can't be stressed cause the embryo will die, and even though I'm scared, I think I would be really really sad if the embryo died.

It's not just being pregnant. It's all the finances that come with it, telling the father, where to live...

And, God, my job. Which I'm 99% certain I will lose within four months (complicated, just don't ask).

So I guess first up is finding a way to, like, go to the doctor's since I'm not insured. And then I will have to find a new job. So this is just marvelous.

I don't feel any pregnant-y things yet. Like no sickness. I'm unnaturally sore, though, so I think that's something. I have started prenatals which makes it waaay too real, but I want things to be okay...

This explains why I gained so much weight the last two weeks. It was the same for my roommate. The first few weeks of her pregnancy she was an eating machine, couldn't stop. I had zero control for a while there. If it was edible, it was in my mouth. Oi vey.

But I have to be a little better now. Cause it's not just me anymore. Apparently it never will be again.

Just realized this significantly decreases the chances of me marrying Adam Young from Owl City...