October 16^th, 2013

I've slept on it and I'm feeling a little better. Partly because this isn't a reflection of the value of me or my amazing child. It's a reflection of him and his integrity, which apparently is shoddy at best.

Besides that, he's voluntarily missing out on a person who is going to be the best person this world has seen to date.

I'm just saying that our baby is going to be magnificent and smart and he's going to win my heart over in a matter of weeks, my family and friends' hearts over in a matter of months and then, in the years to come, he'll win over the hearts of the entire world.

Who passes up the chance to be involved in such an amazing person?

Speaking of which, I'm actually five weeks. (I was off a little in my do-it-yourself calculations.) I'm on week five right now so my baby is the size of an apple seed  It's radical how fast they grow. I'll be showing by the end of January and massive when my roommate's baby is born in the beginning of March. (We find out if she's having a boy or girl on Friday!)

At work today, one of the customers I told, a cute tiny middle aged woman who always seems so smiley (if not a bit spacey, but in a totally adorable way) came in and her face lit up and she called me "mommy". She's been the only thoroughly excited person so far, besides my youngest brothers. (Who were arguing over what they'll be called. Noah says he's going to be Uncle Everything That Is Awesome and he says Jonathan should be called Uncle Weird.)

>sigh<

I'm still sad. Still sad that my baby is already being rejected without getting a fair shot at showing his father that he's worth every bit of trouble. But, I mean. What can you do? It's sadly acceptable now days for men to not be men.

>shrug<

Note to self: First appointment is November 7^th, at 9am. Eep!

Here's my baby this week:

And here's me this month, at week 5: