October 14^th, 2013

The idea is finally sinking in. I'm going to have a baby. It sank in a lot more when I realized that today, the 14^th, begins my sixth week of pregnancy. (Scientifically, pregnancy begins two weeks before there's actually a baby in there. It's really complicated to figure out, but I diiiiid.)

So right now, my baby is the size of a nail head. It's heart beats 80 times per minute, which is like as much as my heart beats. Plus, it has all the beginnings of his facial features.

And I really think I'm starting to love it.

I'm due June 16^th 2014, which is kind of exciting. I realized that in January is when I'll be able to find out if I'm having a little girl or a little boy (please be a boy). And I'll be able to hear the heartbeat in the middle of next month.

Beyond that, when my roommate, Jonica, has her baby in the beginning of March, I'm going to be maaassive, in the beginning of my sixth month of pregnancy, and more than halfway through.

Week six, though. That's where I am. Wow...

I told my brothers today, the two youngest ones. They were excited. More excited than me. Which is kind of awesome of them. Totally made my day.

Also, I've (prematurely) thought of names. I really like the name Priscilla for a girl, but I get a lot of mixed responses about that. I like it, though. I'd call her Pri. Bri and Pri.

But I've decided on Titus for a boy. I adore that name, and I love Ti as a nickname.

I guess I ought to way in the opinion of the father, whose opinion in general is still yet to be decided upon. I haven't spoken to him since I told him. I hope he's doing okay. I'm getting anxious to talk to him about things. Express that I want him there for more than monetary reasons... I want the other half of this equation to be, you know... the other half of this equation.

It's not like I want him to be at every appointment or in the delivery room or anything. Of course not. But it'd be really comforting to have him in the birth center at least, and at one or two of the big, important ones. Like the heartbeat next month and the gender one, maybe? I think that would be radical.

I just don't want to do this alone, and I never understood why guys think that, because they're not physically attached to their growing child, they aren't responsible to be more than just a giver-of-funds. Money is good, and I'll need it. But we were friends with benefits and now we're friends with a baby. He's a dad just as much as I am a mom.

But something we have is time. So I'll be patient.

On another note, here is a sketch of what my baby looks like.